EDITOR’S NOTE: I wrote these years ago, many years ago, back when puppies were the youngest animals. I even forgot they were here, but for shits and giggles…
1. Me having a cell phone does not put me at your beck and call. I’ll answer it when I’m free and available to talk.
2. If I want your opinion on how I’m supposed to think and/or live my life, I will ask you for it.
3. Being my friend does not grant you unfettered access to my personal life. If I don’t want to talk aboot it, so it is written.
4. If the group is doing something I deem to be boring or suck, I reserve the right not to do it.
5. If I ask a yes or no question, I expect a yes or no answer. Not an excuse or a disertation.
6. Anything that requires wearing pants isn’t worth putting your pants on for.
7. There are two types of people in this world: people who like a strong cup of coffee, and people who should just switch to decaf and stop complaining when I make the coffee too strong.
8. If I’m at the gym and have my headphones on, don’t start a conversation with me.
9. The Good Lord gives us twenty four perfectly good hours a day, and unless you’ve got company, why waste them in bed?
10. Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.
And remember The Golden Rule, if you can’t amuse everyone, sometime you’ve just got to amuse yourself…
*I reserve the right to make exceptions on any of these commandments depending on how cute she is